Womanhood in Japan (July 2023)

“Womanhood in Japan” series column rounds up Japanese news related to women’s daily experiences of sexism here and considers what we can do to increase the pace of change.

Bad advice from older dads

The little town of Onomichi in Hiroshima Prefecture made headlines this month over a brochure it was distributing to pregnant women titled “From a senpai papa to you,” (where “senpai” means “senior”). In a nation subject to stiff, out-of-date gender-based roles that generally benefit men — and particularly older ones — the vibe from the title alone doesn’t feel good, and that’s pretty much how the content was, too.

Comments on social media showed that people found particularly egregious a top three listing of survey results from 100 dads living in the city on the topic, “Things my wife did that I hated.” (The topic alone is just asking for trouble.) The top three answers to this were:

1. She got annoyed for no reason, & She got annoyed over the slightest thing and took it out on me.
2. She was busy looking after the baby so didn’t do the housework sufficiently.
3. She won’t do anything for me, & She’s not looking after the children.

Another section that drew attention was the topic, “Things my wife did for me that made me happy.” Because it’s the husband that is the priority in a household with a new baby, right?

1. Housework
2. Childcare
3. Massage

Yes, that’s right. This brochure sent to pregnant women basically inferred that they should find the time to massage their husbands, between doing the housework and childcare, which with a baby is an all-day, every day, physically and often mentally depleting experience. While giving the mother a massage makes a lot of sense, getting one from her just doesn’t.

On the topic, “Things I would like my wife to do,” the top reply was “I want her to tell me specifically what she wants me to do.” This explains the wives getting annoyed that was mentioned earlier, and it also exemplifies some men’s rejection of responsibility and meaningful involvement in childrearing. The wife is forced to be responsible for all childcare. The marriage is not a partnership, not respectful, and resentment builds. It also sets the dad up to be a bit player in their child’s life.

“I want her to tell me what to do” also creates a catch-22, because with all this expectation that the mother take care of all household and childcare responsibilities, it’s very hard to fly in the face of that and ask for help. The move basically tries to pin the blame for his lack of participation onto the child’s mother; “if she can’t tell me what to do, then how can I be expected to do it?”

Breaking, or at least questioning, this dynamic is probably easiest for a third-party. In this case, the third-party of social media users stepped in to question the expectations being off-loaded onto new moms. This can be difficult to do in person, and leading by example is probably the best way. It would also help to have discussion between couples, and in Japanese society in general, about the family lives we would like to have, and how to create them. It’s really the only way to create work-life balance.

Onomichi City has announced that it will no longer be distributing the pamphlet.

The Nippon TV NEWS broadcast on the Onomichi story also mentioned a 2019 survey of 1,202 mothers carried out by Karadanote Inc. found that 91.9% experienced a cooling off of their affection for their husbands within six months of giving birth. About 43% of those mothers said their feelings stayed that way. The main reason for the fall off was behavior by the husband that prioritized himself. It also noted that the higher the disparity in housework and childcare, the worse the couple’s relationship was. This shows again that equality is key to sustainability.

Feeling Japan’s gender gap on a daily basis

Survey results out early this month showed that just over 50% of women and 40% of men in Japan feel the gender gap on a daily basis. The figure seems kind of low considering Japan’s very poor standing on this. The Global Gender Gap Index for 2023 that the World Economic Forum released last month showed that Japan fell nine places from last year to 125 out of 146 countries.

In response to the question “Do you feel the gender gap in your daily life?” 40.4% of men said they did, while 51.8% of women said they did. By generation, women in their 40s felt it the most, at 62.4%, while the high point for men was 41.6%, for both men in their 20s and in their 50s.

While the figures suggest that women feel greater gender disparity, individual answers about the circumstances in which they feel the gender gap showed a broadness of awareness. Many men referenced disparity that was detrimental to women, such as “Being a man is beneficial to receiving promotion” (30s), “The tendency to think of housework as women’s work” (40s), and “If you look at politicians it’s obvious; the gender ratio of parliamentarians” (50s).

Inequalities against men that men referenced included “The ease of taking childcare leave” (30s), and “When getting married, men’s income is examined, but women’s isn’t” (20s).

Women overwhelmingly referred to inequity in the workplace and in housework: “It is only men who are given posts of responsibility, making the gender gap in income big” (20s), “Even in couples who are both working, it’s the wife who has to do most of the housework” (40s), and “I hate the term ‘female company president’ (men are just called ‘president’” (50s).

It’s worthwhile remembering that inequality ultimately hurts everyone, and that those that benefit from inequal social systems aren’t necessarily responsible for it. We are all in this together. Acknowledging each other’s individual abilities and celebrating them will help make change for the better.

The same survey also asked respondents about the 17 Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs). Interestingly, when asked which ones they are concerned about, “Achieving gender equality” came in third last. It was facing off against more immediately life-threatening issues such as ending poverty, ending hunger, and taking urgent action against climate change, but it is disheartening to see what a low priority we give to equality.

The cost of not prioritizing gender equality

An excellent article from The Nation helps us see the big picture and the cost of not prioritizing gender equality. “Gender Inequality Is Driving a Mental Health Crisis in Japan” connects the economic marginalization of women to mental health issues.

It describes a government approach that sees women as mothers and as wives, and as workers if they are in work (where they are typically relegated to low-paying jobs), but otherwise is blind to women’s general wellbeing.

The article says that 56% of single mothers live in poverty, the highest of all OECD nations and far exceeding 33.5% in the US, despite more single mothers being in work in Japan.

What we can do about this is vote and apply other political pressure to change government and corporate employment policies that are creating a working underclass. Discussing the topic would increase awareness of the issue and should help reduce stigma toward single mothers and create pressure for Japan to change the social conditions creating this problem.