Notable author Banana Yoshimoto’s guide to living with grief

Banana Yoshimoto is one of the most famous Japanese female authors in the world. Her books are published in over 30 countries. I have reread her debut novel and masterpiece, “Kitchen” for the first time in a while. I surprisingly have different thoughts to when I first read it.

“Kitchen” describes the process of struggle and despair for those who have lost their loved ones

A young woman, Mikage, was orphaned and raised by her grandparents. Her grandfather passed away when she was in junior high school, and so did her grandmother years later. When she was in deep sorrow, the kitchen was the only place to relieve her loneliness and sleep.

A young man, Yuichi, who works in a flower shop, where Mikage’s grandmother regularly went, suggests that Mikage lives together with him and his mother, Eriko. Eriko is the biological father of Yuichi, who becomes his “mother” after Yuichi’s biological mother passes away from cancer. The time spent with Yuichi and Eriko helps Mikage cope with her grief.

Months later, Mikage leaves the house and starts working as an assistant to a culinary researcher. Around the same time, Eriko is murdered by a stalker. Mikage and Yuichi falls into deep sorrow again. Even though they go back and forth, they find hope in their lives and start moving forward.

Journey to find a way to live with grief

The novel depicts the deaths of loved ones. This story seems heavy and tragic, and it is often described as a book about loneliness in other countries. However, this novel made me think positively about living in this complex society because the characters are trying to find a way to live while carrying their sadness.

There is a scene where Eriko talks about when she was still a man and going home from a hospital visit to see his wife. Eriko says, “I was crying out loud. I couldn’t catch a taxi because a man would never cry like this. I have felt the desire to quit being a man for the first time in my life.”

The loss might have made him realize that he wanted to live as a woman. However, I felt that transforming into a woman may be a way for Eriko to escape the societal gender roles insisting that a man should be strong. He might have thought that becoming a mother could allow him to be sad. It also might have lessened the despair from his loss because if he kept living as a man, he might have been asked about his wife or told to get a new one.

“Kitchen” urges us to find hope by embracing life

In my opinion, Yoshimoto portrays the kitchen in the novel as a symbol of being alive and someone or something that we want to live for. The significance of the kitchen for Mikage changes three times in the story. It serves as proof that her grandmother lived, as a place to spend quality time with Yuichi and Eriko and as a space where she can immerse herself in cooking. All of these things provide hope for her during times of despair and become Mikage’s motivation to live. Mikage says, “I would have several kitchens in my life.”

Most people have gone through hard times in their lives. Many are likely struggling tremendously right now. When facing despair, we all deserve to feel sad and express it with tears. However, we sometimes feel constricted by things such as gender roles, work positions or even our usual personalities. This novel allows us to feel sadness and live while carrying it, and it gently guides us to find hope to continue with our lives.